Anticipating Love

Another sleepless night.
My choice.
I didn't take my pill.
Captivated.
By the words.
Spoken by My Love.

Maybe two hours of sleep.
Three perhaps.
It would have been smarter.
To take that pill.
Tomorrow would come faster.

Curled in bed.
Half asleep.
My mind racing.
Anticipation.
Excitement.
Joy.
Anxious.
Terror.
Panic.
Precariously balanced.

I am the rabbit.
Nervous at your approach.
Cautiously watching.

Should you move too fast.
Or if you come too close.
I will bolt.

The rabbit.
An excellent metaphor.
If I may take this interlude.
To congratulate myself.
I will happily admit.
That when I feel safe and happy.
I certainly enjoy...
To use the euphemism.
Procreation.

To catch a rabbit.
You must watch your timing.
Find that perfect moment.
Move slowly.
Until you can reach.
Then pounce.
Or you will never catch me.

My Love.
I don't mean to make things hard for you.
I wish everything could be different.
But life is what it is.
I've done my very best with what I have.
I don't give up without a fight.

My Love.
If you find yourself frustrated.
When I am cold and guarded.
Should I pull away.
Or if I lash out unfairly.

Please remember this.
It isn't you.
It never was.

Have faith in me.
Trust these three words.
I Love You.