A Letter

I have a question.
But you can't respond.
I tied you up.
I silenced you.
But you understand.
I had to.

I want an answer.
But I won't get it.
I made the choice.
I will stick by it.
But I have to ask.
I need to.

I need an answer.
But I doubt I'll get it.
I turned around.
I walked away.
But maybe you will see.
I never left.

Maybe you will hear me.
Maybe you will answer.

I can hear your screams.
I can hear your pleas.

Do you remember my letter?
The words I couldn't say.
Did it strike a chord?
I think I missed it.
Like so many other things.
For that I'm sorry.

Do you remember that letter?
You said you understood.
Did I find your wound?
I couldn't see it.
Wrapped in my own torment.
For that I am sorry.

Do you remember the letter?
My shame on paper.
Did it spark a memory?
Something you had hidden.
I didn't find it.
For that I am sorry.

Do you remember that letter?
Please tell me.
Did I finally find it?
If that's the reason.
It would all make sense.
For that I am hopeful.

I still get flooded.
I still feel your anguish.

Maybe you will answer.
Maybe I will hear you.

I need an answer.
But I doubt I'll get it.
I turned around.
I walked away.
But maybe you will see.
I'm still here.

I want an answer.
But I won't get it.
I made the choice.
I will stick by it.
But I have to ask.
I still care.

I have a question.
But you can't respond.
I tied you up.
I silenced you.
But please understand.
I still love you.